Cook chopped thick-cut bacon in a large skillet over medium heat for 10-12 minutes until crisp, then remove it and drain all but 2 tablespoons fat. You should see deeply browned bacon bits and rendered fat pooling in the pan.

Add diced yellow onion and diced shallots to the skillet and cook for 10-12 minutes until soft and golden. Watch for translucent onions and browned edges forming on the bottom.

Add diced Granny Smith apple and minced garlic, then cook for 3 minutes. The apple should begin to soften while garlic becomes fragrant.

Pour in whiskey or bourbon and scrape up browned bits from the pan, then simmer for 2 minutes. The liquid will reduce and look slightly syrupy as it loosens the flavorful crust.

Stir in packed brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, apple cider, maple syrup, smoked paprika, black pepper, and the cooked bacon. The mixture should turn glossy and darker, with bacon evenly distributed.

Simmer over low heat for 20-25 minutes, stirring often, until thick, dark, and jammy. It should mound on a spoon and cling slowly as it cools.

Pulse a few times in a food processor for a spreadable texture, keeping visible apple chunks. You should end up with a thick, chunky spread rather than a fully smooth purée.

Serve the apple whiskey bacon jam warm or at room temperature. It should be thick enough to scoop and spread on crackers or brie.